Is Blackrock/Appco a scam?

I have not posted in a while because I've been busy with what I thought was a new job - but what it actually turned out to be was nothing like I'd expected. A scam? Or just a very dodgy business scheme?

Appco/Cobra Group

Blackrock Advertising is a smaller franchise of Appco (formerly Cobra Group) which has branches worldwide. Now, Appco/Cobra is actually quite well known for running these dodgy schemes. Unfortunately for me, throughout the interview process I was led to believe that Blackrock was just a small and successful business that was rapidly expanding. We were told a fake story of how the office manager started up the business on his own, after selling Daft Punk tickets at university. Obviously 'this company is part of a huge corporation that deals in screwing people over' doesn't sound quite as cute. The first I heard of Appco was when it came to signing the contract, and by then it was a bit too late to do my research.

The job was advertised over at jobsite.co.uk, and was admittedly very vague. But then, I'm used to applying for vague jobs. It was posted through a recruitment agency and they often only include the most basic details in their job ads, so this didn't set off any alarm bells.

Want some fun, in a lively environment whilst building a career? If so, then read on! Due to demands from our newest, exciting client we are rapidly expanding and opening new offices in 2012. We are, therefore looking for 15+ people to fulfil a number of roles in various sectors of our business, including Sales, Customer Service, Marketing and Business Development.

Now maybe I'm just stupid, but when I read that description, I do not immediately think 'door-to-door cold calling'. And I expect that's the whole point - because who would sign up for that job willingly unless they were extremely desperate? When sending off the application, they actually ask you to select which of the four different sectors you wish to work in - again, leading applicants to believe that they will be working in an office doing a specific job, not herded along with everyone else into a cold calling role. The 'lively, fun office' doesn't really count if you're only in there for an hour each day.

Brainwashing

I was given a phone interview a few days after applying. The guy who interviewed me sounded really nice, friendly and genuine. He asked me a bit about what marketing experience I had /(all of which was irrelevant) and then told me I'd ticked all the boxes they were looking for, and would I like to come in for an interview? A few days later, sat in the office waiting to be taken through to be interviewed, I heard the same guy interviewing another candidate over the phone, and he said the exact same things, word for word, like he was reading from a script. So much for being genuine!

The interview itself was extremely brief. Again, the interviewer (who turned out to be the office manager) was very laid back and friendly, and in fact he barely asked me any questions. Never mind, I thought, as I got invited to the second interview, so obviously I was the ideal candidate! (I'm so naive)

The first day of the job, me and eight other new employees were given a brainwashing session with free sandwiches, where we were told all about the humble roots of the company and how lucky we were to be offered such a great opportunity, with earnings of £200-£600 per week, plus great bonuses, and the chance to progress to team leader and then finally to run our own office. And because we were getting SO much commission, we didn't even need to be paid a salary! Wow! No. The sandwiches were nice though. Somebody must have let on the secret of my one weakness.

Anyway, it came to signing the contract and I had a pretty bad feeling when I read that when working for this company, we would officially be considered self-employed. So no national insurance, no long-term security, no nothing. At this point we still hadn't been really told what we'd be doing. We were shown a video about the British Red Cross charity and told we'd get to run events at football matches, shows and days out. We'd get to travel and receive great rewards. I just thought, 'a job is a job. I can't really complain', and decided I'd stick it out for at least this week and see what it was like.

The 'lively office environment'

The next day, two of the new employees who were in the room with us yesterday had already disappeared. I wish I'd done the same thing, because the day that followed was the biggest waste of time and energy I will probably ever experience! Each of us was placed with an experienced employee and told we were to follow them around all day and see what they did.

Everyone in the office was loud, excitable and very friendly. The morning meeting was just the manager reading out a list of how many sales each person had made the following day, and each person would get a loud 'WEYYYYY' and a high five. They loved their high fives. It was like a parody of an office, like you'd see on TV. Everyone was so ridiculously happy and friendly, at the time I was starting to find it very annoying and thinking 'I would want to kill these people after a week'. It turns out, from reading stories online from people who stayed with the company for longer than I did, that the current employees are all told to be especially nice to the new people, and to make them feel like the office is a super fun place to work, WEYYYYY have a high five, have some banter, here's a funny nickname LOL. But that after a few days, their true colours would begin to show, all the drama and office politics.

Cold-calling

I was put into a group with four others. We had to get a train to the next town over and knock on all the doors in a large residential area, say the rehearsed 'pitch' and try and get people to sign up to donate to charity. They seemed to love their job. Going on about how to keep their attitude up, how they were sooooo excited to make some sales today, gosh wow they loved speaking to all these people door-to-door, it was just so rewarding!! Looking back, I'm wondering if they were told to play it up for my benefit, or if they were just genuinely victims of brainwashing. Each person went off on their own to cover a specific street. Except for me and my mentor, who were obviously paired up. I worried about doing this on my own in the following week, traipsing around the streets from 12 til 8pm, being expected to go inside people's houses if invited, with nobody knowing exactly where I was. It seriously didn't feel safe at all.

I wasn't dressed for the weather either. We were told to dress office smart, so I had on a dress, tights, slip-on flats and a smart coat. It was freezing cold and raining on and off, and there wasn't even anywhere to have a break, so I was outside for eight hours. Towards the end of it, I just felt like crying. I felt humiliated talking to these people at their front doors, when they were clearly settling down for dinner and a night in, not wanting to be pressured for money by an annoying salesperson. I felt daunted by the prospect of doing this every single day. And even if I'd made the target of two sales each day, which seemed like an impossibility because who on earth actually signs up to these things? The amount I'd earn for the week would be barely scraping minimum wage. I'd be better off in McDonalds, at least then I'd be warm and safe, and actually getting paid for the work!

Back at the office, everyone high fived me and congratulated me on how well I did, how I was sure to get a shout out at the meeting the next day. As soon as I left I decided never to go back there.

So, is it a scam?

The people there seemed to genuinely enjoy what they did, but to me it just felt that they were being taken advantage of. Most of them were not much older than I was, and seemed to think they were getting a great deal out of it. I'm sure technically there must be a loophole that allows companies to make their employees do what amounts to free work, relying on generous members of the public to ever make any money. It just seems so, so dodgy. I don't think it's fair to falsely advertise a job as something completely different to what it actually is. Everyone I spoke to about what happened said I did the right thing by getting out of there. My brother said he had a similar experience with a company in New Zealand. But obviously these companies are legitimate, as they are so well known that if they were doing anything illegal they would be shut down. I guess having the employees sign a contract stating that they are self-employed means that the employer technically doesn't have to pay them anything.

Anyway, so that's my story. A word of warning to anyone thinking this type of job sounds too good to be true - it really is. If you start to get bad feelings about the legitimacy of a job, listen to your gut feeling and get out of there before they waste your time. I'm back to where I started now, unemployed, but at least I'm not being taken for a ride, and I'm not putting myself at risk.

Bad Flo :(

I haven't posted in over a month! So I'm forcing myself to write something now, even if it is just a poor recap of what I've been up to over the last month.

At the start of September I went to Rome for a week! It was fantastic and one of my next posts (hopefully you won't have to wait a month for it) will be my top tips for anyone visiting Rome - dos and don'ts, that sort of thing. It was a great holiday and the first time I've been to a different country as a proper responsible grown up rather than letting my parents do all the work. I ate a lot of gelato and pasta, but I also did an awful lot of walking so it balanced out rather nicely.

I am now two weeks into my three week placement at Fusion People, where I have been working on the marketing team and doing lots of research, editing, copy writing, etc etc. It's been a great experience so far and I've learnt a lot, as well as (kind of) overcome my phone-shyness! It's gone really quickly and I will be quite sad to leave. But I've got another internship coming up on the 15th October, working in the editing office of the Navy News in Portsmouth. I've been so lucky to get all these opportunities, and experience in marketing and editing is a really valuable thing.

It's my birthday next Wednesday. I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm getting from anybody. I hope I get brioche for breakfast, but other than that I'm not particularly fussed! I'm getting into the writing spirit again, and I'm desperate to write a book of some sort, so it's lucky that November is next month so I can take part in NaNoWriMo for once. Everyone from my university graduated today except me, because I couldn't afford to get tickets or hire a hat and robe. I didn't really feel like floating around in a cape all day anyway.

I'm planning on setting up a Facebook and Twitter account for this blog so I can post updates through those. It'll mean deleting my pre-existing 'Love from Florence' Facebook account which was for my handmade jewellery, but that seems to have dwindled over the last couple of months as I've developed a social and working life out of nowhere!

I have another couple of posts planned out, including a book review, a craft tutorial and my aforementioned Rome guide, all of which I'll write and post over the weekend, and I will continue to update regularly from now on...I promise!

Phew!

My interview at FusionPeople wasn't nearly as scary as I had expected. They were very friendly and seemed genuinely interested in what I could bring to the team, having just completed a creative writing degree. They said it would be great to have a creative writer on board, as a lot of tasks they are given involve copy writing and making presentations and flyers look pretty (another of my skills!)
There are a few other candidates for the role, but I like to think I have a really good chance of being picked. Fingers crossed!
In other news, my brother is now home, I did a workout routine for the first time in months yesterday and now I can barely walk (perhaps this is a sign that I should be doing more of those!) and I've got a little job the week after next, helping out at a summer school for young children. I volunteered in an infant school while I was at university and had a great time, and I still sometimes pop into the school my Mum teaches at to help them take the children out on school trips and things. So I think this job will be right up my street :)
My life seems to be picking up the pace, even if it has just moved from 'snail' to 'tortoise'!

Oops!

I haven't posted in over a week! What's been happening in my dull life?

• My proofreading job has kicked off, I've done about 8 or 9 so far over the last week and I've been getting around 2 each day so it's keeping my brain cells in tip-top condition!
• I've got an interview on Thursday for a 6 week work experience at Fusion People, which is the main company that the CV company belongs to. I'm a bit nervous but it should be fine as long as this horrible cold goes away soon.
• I've developed a horrible cold out of nowhere (see above!)
• My parents and Isaac are away for another two weeks in Greece, but my older brother Alexis will be coming home this Thursday from New Zealand, as his friend who he was travelling with had to go home because of a family problem. 
• I finally got around to cleaning out the fridge and found a mouldy potato in a ziplock bag. I don't know who decided to put a single potato in a bag in the fridge.
• My cat is seriously driving me up the wall with her incessant screechy meowing. She asks for food and then turns her nose up at it when I put it in her bowl. I've decided not to bother fussing over her, if she's that hungry she'll eat what she's given. Hmph.
• I went out on Friday night, for a girls' night out to Babylon, which is a club that exclusively plays songs from the 90s. It was great fun and I can't wait to go out again.
• I've been bitten by mosquitos and it's horrible. My legs are covered in pink spots and I look like I've got a disease. 
• That's about it, to be honest. 

Here is a picture of me, Emma and Lyndsey doing our best duck faces:

:(

I haven't posted in ages again, because I have been overworking at the charity shop and generally being too mopey to think of anything to say. I missed Folksy Friday this week because I worked 8 hours at British Heart and when I got home I wanted to curl into a ball. Anyway, life is more-or-less the same as ever: I'm completely broke, and I'm waiting to hear about this proofreading job and getting paranoid that eventually everyone will go "Aha, it's a hoax!' and shoot confetti at me or something like that...because that's the kind of thing that always happens to me. Well okay, not really.

I'm also looking into getting some work experience with the Navy News which my grandad used to work for (or knows someone who did, or something) because it seems like this whole job thing is about who you know, not what you know. So that would be really good if I could do that, because it's nearby and it would give me some much-needed experience with editing, even if it was mostly just photocopying and making cups of tea.

Good luck

The last few days have been really good - I've had two bits of good luck! Firstly, I've got a sort-of-kind-of job, thanks to my friend Marie who put my name forward at her job. The final arrangements just have to be sorted out, and then I'll be proofreading CVs for spelling and grammar mistakes, getting paid per CV and working from home. It's not going to be a huge wage but it's much better than anything else I could get right now,and it's really good editing experience to put on my CV.

The other cool thing that happened was that I got back in touch with my friends Emma and Lyndsey (Marie as well, but I was sort of in touch with her already!) who I was really close with all through school and college, but drifted out of contact when we all went to different universities. We went out for a drink and a catch up on Saturday evening, and I had such a lovely time. It's great to finally have a group of friends I can talk about girly things with!

And we all promised we wouldn't lose contact again. Em and I met up again this afternoon because we both had some errands to do in Havant. We had lunch and amazing hot chocolate, and we both booked to have our hair cut on Thursday, because mine is seriously in need of a trim even if I can't afford to have my roots redone at the moment - I'm hoping they look better when my hair is shorter and messier. Em also signed up to volunteer at British Heart with me. We got some free books from the free book place, then we went back to her house and watched Tangled. Good times all round!

So now I have a social life and a sort-of-job, things are looking a lot better than they were this time last week.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, WOOOO, AMERICA, FREEDOM, WOO YEAH! Just kidding.

I love looking at the things people searched to get to my blog:

The fact that not one but two people felt the need to type 'hairy gross man' into Google absolutely cracks me up. And the three people who searched for 'nice guys eyebrows' must have been really disappointed when they clicked the link and found out that it was not, in fact, a blog filled with pictures of sexy eyebrows (??) but simply a collection of posts about the life of the world's most boring person.

But it is a bit creepy, making people's search terms public like that.

So! Anyway!

I have received two rejection emails from the lowest-rung jobs I have applied to. Even ASDA won't take me. They happily employed my antisocial eighty-year-old next door neighbour as a checkout lady, even though she constantly chews gum and calls her solicitor every time a leaf blows over our fence and into her garden ... but they won't even employ me - friendly, polite, hard-working me - to put yoghurts and toilet rolls onto a shelf. What is this world coming to?

I finally got around to filling in the form to start claiming Job Seeker's Allowance. It's a depressing thing to have to do, because it's basically admitting to myself, "Fuck, I can't get a job! I am literally unemployable!" Also I'll have to go to a load of meetings to prove that I'm looking for a job rather than just pretending to so I can sponge money off of them. When in fact, I would do literally anything if they'd just give me a chance  -  I would be a professional armpit-sniffer if it gave me a paycheck and something to do with my life!

Mainly I just feel useless. I'm a graduate with a 2:1 and I can't even get a job as a trolley-pusher. It's not even about the money, it's just feeling like I was lied to all through school and college when I was told I'd get a good job one day if I worked hard. Well, I could have dropped out of school and still had some chance at getting at least a job. Now, I'm considered overqualified for half the jobs and too inexperienced for the other half. I feel lazy and like I'm just leeching off of John and my parents.


So wow, this really really sucks! 

News (ish) on the job search

Today I received two job-related phone calls. Neither were particularly exciting. The first sounded very much like a scam - somebody talking about a teaching assistant position, which I'm 99.999% sure I haven't ever applied to. The reason it felt like a scam to me is because recently I had an email that said something very similar, only it started talking about how much they charged for training fees and that I had to pay in advance ... so I postponed that conversation to tomorrow afternoon (well I was in Superdrug at the time, and I didn't fancy a telephone interview down the makeup aisle whether it was a real job opportunity or not). So anyway, when he rings back I will ask him when he received my application and who he got the details from. And then probably tell him I'm not interested, because the whole thing sounded very sketchy.

The second was a bit more of a confidence boost. A man from a copywriting internship in London that I applied for last Friday, ringing to confirm that I lived in Havant and to say that they would only be able to pay £400 a month to cover my travel expenses, which have only covered about a third of the total cost. As it is an unpaid internship, it simply wouldn't be feasible. But he said he was really impressed by my CV and that he would have really wanted to meet me for an interview otherwise. So that makes me feel really good, as I know I'm definitely qualified and experienced enough for the jobs I want - I just have to wait for the ideal opportunity to come along.

The rest of today was pretty good as well. I met up with my friend Claire, who I haven't seen in ages because our free days never seem to coincide. We went shopping for things for her holiday in Morocco which she is leaving for this Thursday. Her holiday shopping consisted mainly of Werthers Originals and magazines to read on the plane. Then we sat in her car sorting through her three Asda bags full of makeup and trying to narrow it down to fit one small makeup bag so that she could bring them on holiday.

I managed to resist buying any more nail polish - my nail polish box is seriously bulging at the seams and there are a few bottles in there that I haven't even used yet - but I did end up buying a new mascara, a cream eyeshadow in gold, a lipstick and a lip gloss which was on special offer.

Tomorrow I'm working at the charity shop all day. John is currently looking into booking us a couple of days in London to stay at a nice hotel and go shopping and maybe even watch a musical or visit the dungeons. I haven't been to London in a long time and it will be lovely to spend a few days just doing fun things and not worrying about being unemployed (me) or having a really soul-destroying job (him).

I have had a lingering headache for the past four days. John says I should see a doctor if it continues for much longer, but I think it's probably just because I'm getting so worked up about being unemployed!

I love volunteering :)

It's been quite a busy few days so I haven't had a chance to write a blog post in a while. On Friday, Saturday and Tuesday I have been working at the British Heart Foundation charity shop, and I really love it there. My favourite part is -  surprisingly - serving customers, which I expected to be really scary and terrible. I think I should stop believing the accounts of retail work by antisocial teenagers! I'm sure it is terrible if you hate people and consider smiling to be a chore, but personally I enjoy meeting everybody, helping them and giving them suggestions. And I have been told I'm very sweet and polite, so hooray!

On Sunday and Monday John was here, and we went to Portsmouth so he could buy some new clothes and things. He actually ended up buying more for me than for himself. I would never dream of asking for him to buy me things, but he really loves spoiling me rotten and I have trouble saying no to an offer of Jack Wills shorts, t-shirt and underwear! I think part of the reason he spent so much on me was that loads of the female employees of Jack Wills were eyeing him up (or so he says!) and he wanted to impress them by buying me stuff. I'm not quite sure how that line of thought works, but it got me some new clothes so I won't complain!

John is working night shifts all week, so he is home during the day, but obviously very tired. He said he really wants me to come and see him today, but that was before he started his shift so I'm predicting that he will say 'Actually...I really want some sleep!' I want to find out what is going on, but I don't want to ring him and wake him up.

I think tomorrow is when I am supposed to be finding out whether or not I got the job at LittleMedia. I probably haven't got it. Looking back on the interview, I did look kind of scruffy after walking all the way from the station, and I probably didn't seem very professional. I guess the fact that I look really young for my age doesn't help either, but that is something I cannot change and I just have to hope I come across an employer who doesn't care what I look like!

First Day of Volunteering

This morning I went into British Heart for my first day of till training. I was expecting it to be really scary and difficult, but actually I loved it so much that I ended up staying for way longer than I was supposed to! At first it was difficult to remember all the steps I had to take to ring up a customer's purchases, but after a short time I got the hang of it, and now I feel like I could do it with my eyes closed. None of the customers were rude, and most of them were actually really friendly and stopped to chat or ask advice about what to buy. I'm sure I'll get a scary customer eventually, but so far it's all been fine! It's good to be out of the house, doing something productive with my free time and gaining work experience.

It's been a really busy few days, and I really love the feeling of rushing around having important stuff to do - I feel like a proper person!

Interview, bracelets, and ... pizza.

I had my interview today, and it was actually a lot less terrifying than I had imagined. Considering it was my first proper interview, I think I did pretty well. But of course, what I think doesn't actually matter! There are a lot of other candidates for the role and I won't get to find out until Thursday whether or not I got the job. So, for now I'm going to try not to over-think it, carry on as normal and act like I didn't even have an interview. Because it's kind of embarrassing telling everyone you had an interview only to sheepishly crawl back and say 'yeah I didn't get it...'

The tiny spike studs I ordered finally arrived today, all the way from China, so I made a woven bracelet with pale pink satin cord and spikes. I am loving the combination of pastel colours and spikes. It's a really popular style at the moment, and very straightforward to make, so I'm going to make a few more and see how they do on Folksy.

Later tonight I think John and I are going out for dinner on a sort of double date with our friend Andy and his on-off-on-on-off-on-off-nobody-even-knows-any-more girlfriend. We're going to Fire and Stone in Gunwharf for £4 pizzas. Hooray!

Tomorrow it's another early morning, as I'm going in to British Heart for my first day. I was really nervous about this last week, but now that I've conquered an interview I feel like I could wrestle a dragon into a volcano. Charity shop work will be fine, and even if I do have abuse shouted at me by an old man, at least it gives me something exciting to write about! :)

Good news

I found - okay, John found - a great job opportunity for me to apply to. The job is a 12 month paid internship for an editorial assistant. The company produces a magazine all about babies. I love babies! And I also love writing and editing. So this job is a great opportunity. It's also fairly easy to get to - still a bit of a trek, but nowhere near as nightmare-inducing as the job in Church Crookham which would have just about killed me. This one is pretty manageable, a short train journey and then a 40 minute walk, rather than two long train journeys and an even longer walk. At least nobody can say I'm not dedicated! I'd at least have very toned legs after the first few weeks.

Anyway, the point in all this is I sent in my application at 3:30, and by 4:30 a man from the company was on the phone to me offering me an interview this Thursday! So now I'm shaking with equal parts excitement and nerves, because I really want this job and I will kick myself so hard if I mess anything up. I feel optimistic that I have what it takes to impress them, because after all, my CV and cover letter must have been good for them to get back to me so quickly.

If I do get this job, I will feel a little bit mean having to stop the volunteer work almost before I've even started it, but depending on the hours of this internship, I might be able to still offer one day a week to the charity shop. And I'm sure they would be understanding about it.

I'm all starry-eyed and crossing my fingers that I make a good impression on Thursday. John says he'll try and book the day off work so he can catch the train with me and keep me from melting into a puddle of jelly.

An update on my exciting life *cough cough*

A lot of things have happened in the past few days.

I got a volunteer job at a British Heart charity shop. I'll be working two days a week starting on Saturday. I spoke to two people there and they seemed really nice; the whole place has a lovely friendly atmosphere. But apparently, working in the charity shop isn't as simple and gentle as you might imagine. There are tons of shop lifters (yes, from a charity shop of all places!), there is a risk of people sending letter bombs because the charity funds animal testing, they sometimes get donation bags filled with excrement and dirty nappies and all sorts of horrible things, and customers are often very rude and abusive to the staff. Yay fun! I think I can handle it though. I'm a tough cookie.

Anyway, so that at least gets me out of the house and gives me some more work experience. There is also an opportunity to get an NVQ if I stay there for 6 months, as well as meeting new people and being social, which is always fun.

I made £55 selling my jewellery over the weekend. My aunt came round and my mum tipped all my bracelets out on the coffee table in front of her. She bought my rainbow unicorn bracelet, one of the woven ones with blue glass beads, a green glass beaded one, and a red and white one with dice for my cousin Alfie. She also said she'll make me a website, and she has a writing task for me, to write an article for a magazine she is producing. Then the next day me, my parents and my brother went up to Kent for my uncle's 40th birthday party. My aunt (a different auntie this time) had commissioned a necklace, earring and bracelet set for her friend's birthday the next weekend. I made them with moonstones and pearls as these are the birthstones for this month. I really liked how they turned out, and my aunt liked them too. When we were there, my mum used her aggressive sales tactic again, and I sold a few more of my bracelets to other family members.

So now I've almost run out of things to sell, so this week I'll be busy replenishing my stock! I'm thinking I might move my shop over to Etsy so I have more chance of selling things. Etsy is more of a well-known site and has a much wider audience. And shipping something as small and lightweight as jewellery to America would be very cheap, so I'm not too bothered about international orders.

My new new plan

It seems like I keep making new plans, then new new plans, then new new new plans. It's because life is complicated, and getting a job - any job, even one on the lowest rung - is becoming more and more like a competition these days. You'd think we were entering a contest to win a flatscreen TV, not just a job that we still have to do the actual hard part of working at, even after we've won the contest.
Anyway so, considering I am failing at even getting an interview to work as a cashier in a supermarket, I have decided I need to take this in even babier steps than I'd even thought possible before. So now my plan is this:

1. Volunteer at a charity shop, where they will employ me even though I have no marketable skills whatsoever, because I'll be working for free and also helping to raise money for medical research etc. 
2. Gain skills I can put on my CV. Also have a nice time and meet new people and donate my time to a worthy cause, instead of sitting at home despairing because I'm so useless. 
3. Use these skills to get a proper paid job of some sort. Even if it's just working in Morrisons or something. 
4. When I am earning money, learn to drive. Become even more employable than ever before. 
5. Finally manage to find myself a proper grown up job, maybe, if I'm really lucky. 
6. Orrrr... say 'fuck this' and go travelling like my brother who is in New Zealand at the moment and having a great time. 

Also throughout this time I will continue writing, making my jewellery, learning new things and generally remaining very positive about my situation, because really I've got it very easy and I'm very lucky to have so many options in life. 

How to fail a telephone interview in four easy steps:

1. Be completely unprepared because they chose to call you up, tell you the position you applied for has already been filled, and then launch straight into an interview without even explaining what on earth is going on. Am I being interviewed? For what? You said you'd already filled the position ... oh, where do I see myself in five years' time? Umm ... (I don't even know what I'll be doing in five minutes time. Probably hitting my head against a wall for making such a cock-up of this interview!)

2. Don't do any prior research about what the job actually involves (because you weren't even expecting a response to your application, since you already got turned down for two retail jobs over the past week) and then when asked, rattle off some crap about motivation and determination to succeed, oh and it involves finding new clients or something, right?

3. ???

4.

So suffice it to say, I will not be launching into a career in sales and marketing any time soon. But I have taken this awfully embarrassing, cringeworthy, kill-me-now interview as a learning experience. I have written up a big page of all the questions interviewers seem to love asking, like 'What is your biggest weakness?' and written out some notes to help me answer them coherently, and I have decided that from now on every time I send off an application I will print out a page of notes specific to that job.

So next time I get ambushed by a 'HAHA, GOTCHA!' style phone interview, I will hopefully manage to sound like an articulate and educated individual, instead of a confused and frightened animal that has wandered into a recruitment office.

I get crafty.

I've started a new hobby today! I was sorting out my cupboard and I found a box of odds and ends, beads, sequins etc. I decided to put them to good use and make some bracelets. So, off I went to Hobbycraft to buy some elastic and hemp cord, and I ended up buying a load of glass beads as well because it turns out they have a pick-and-mix for beads. Finally, a pick-and-mix that doesn't rot your teeth or make you fat!

So first of all I decided I would use up all the random plastic beads I'd found at home. These were mostly from those children's bead kits you get every Christmas if you're a girl...so they were all quite cheap and cheerful and brightly coloured. I sorted them into similar colours and then made 'hotchpotch' bracelets, and even though they are so basic and took me such a short time, I think they are rather good!

Next I tried my hand at macramé, which is the 'art' of tying knots in a bit of string. I made two hemp bracelets following this tutorial, only instead of just having plain hemp all along, I strung a bead onto one of the central strands of hemp every few knots, and wove around it. I finished it with a large glass bead to fasten. My second attempt looked a lot better than the first, and hopefully I'll get them looking perfect with a bit of practise!

I also ordered some more fancy beads online, which will be getting delivered on Monday, I hope! As well as a random selection of plastic beads (ooh, exciting!) there are some rainbow stripy beads, silver sea creature charms and silver unicorn charms. I am planning on making some truly ridiculous ~~*RAINBOW UNICORN*~~ bracelets, as well as some nautical-style ones.

I have endless ideas for cute necklaces and rings as well. I might open up an Etsy shop if I think people would be interested in them. I won't exactly make a fortune but it will be nice to fund my new jewellery habit and maybe get a little pocket money out of it.

I also sent in four job applications today, so my time has been well spent, in my opinion!

Ideas

It's funny, my mum got home today and one of the first things she said to me was, "Florence, have you thought about starting up a blog?" Great minds think alike! I've been thinking of a lot of different subjects to write about, so this blog will probably be a hotchpotch of different ideas.

I have just received an email from Superdrug about the bog-standard part-time job I applied for, saying "Sorry but we think you are too stupid to operate a till so we are going to employ somebody straight out of school instead!" Well, they didn't actually say that, but I could tell. I'm just going to try and look on the bright side. I have a lot of free time now, to do whatever I want with (provided it doesn't cost any money! Doh!).

I can write a novel, or take up knitting, or hula-hooping, or watch Jeremy Kyle all day in my pyjamas, or cultivate my inner zen master... anything, really.

One of the things I thought about doing for this blog was a weekly list of 'reasons to be cheerful', like the Ian Dury song, but with things that make me feel cheerful each week. So maybe that will be the next post!

The job hunt begins (or, continues, since I've already been doing it for a week)

I have been applying for jobs all morning. Shh...I know it's only 9:45, but it's really hard. They say that looking for work is a full time job, but it's the worst job in the world. I'd rather be on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor of a public toilet using my own hair as a mop. At least I'd be getting paid for it, and I'd actually be doing something.
I've been out of university for just over a week, and already I feel very overwhelmed with the huge amount of jobs that...don't exist. I recently applied for what sounded like a fantastic internship, an editing/publishing/creative writing role, 12 month placement, salaried, in Hampshire - which is where I live! And I got a response back saying they liked my CV and wanted to talk with me about my application. I thought 'this is great! There must be a catch!' and unsurprisingly, there was. It turns out Hampshire is a huge county, and this internship happened to be at the opposite end to the one I live in. It would have cost me at least £30 to travel there each day, and taken about two hours each way with two different trains, a bus, and a walk. So I had to turn it down. If only I had learnt to drive back in college when everyone else was doing it. "Heh," I thought smugly, "they're just doing it to be cool and trendy. I don't need to drive!" But it turns out they had it right all along, because half these jobs specify a driving licence as one of their requirements, and the other half are in such obscure places that I have no hope of getting there without a car.
But it's fine! Really! I'm thinking positive!
I'm going to attempt to get a retail job for the next year or so, hopefully without seeming overqualified (since I know they're not stupid, they obviously look at graduates and think 'pfft, jog on' because they know we're only going to stick with them until something better comes along), and when I have a steady little wage coming in I'll learn to drive and get a crap car with which to drive to proper jobs with.
Anyway, today isn't all bad. I'm going to meet up with my friend Gary in a while. It's his birthday so we're going out for lunch and a catch up, since last time I saw him I hadn't even thought about my dissertation, and now it's been handed in and is probably being marked right this minute along with my exam papers and various other assignments. I like to use my dissertation as a unit of measurement. About two weeks before they were due in, my friend Claire sent me a text which said: 'I just realised...there is a packet of mini sausages in the fridge that has a longer deadline than our dissertations.'